#37 Run to read half marathon review and such

#37 Run to Read half marathon review and such

Like the new facial hair? I'm indifferent, but it's growing on me.

Hello Digletts!

The feedback from my last entry was more or less- More Watson less running. I'm going to be the cool immature uncle and feed you the dessert before your veggies. If you can't figure out that analogy- Watson will lead off this entry. Strap on your over-sized, often tripped on ears because we're entering the realm of Dr. Watson.

WATSONIAN WEEKLY

cont'd from last week.

With Grendel in custody, I found spare time in need of an investment. After organizing the office, taking countless naps, seeing my tail, losing sight of my tail, finding my tail again, biting my tail, and realizing that my tail (much like my ear) is not meant to be chewed on; I looked elsewhere in the office to blow off some time. Phone calls were not storming in like I had expected them to be after the detainment of the city's most feared villain. Sure the papers said that there wasn't enough evidence to keep Grendel behind bars and Dr. Watson let him slide through his paws. When something goes wrong I am always to blame, but when I solve the

crimes and bring peace to the city it is the maker that receives all praise. Granted, I haven't solved any crimes aside from the ones in my dream as of now. And sometimes those dream criminals get the best of me. I have this reoccurring nightmare where a raccoon pushes me off of a ledge and I just begin free falling. Right before I hit the ground I jerk awake. A few days ago I jerked awake so hard that I startled the maker siting beside me and he spilled a good portion of his hot black drinking water on me which transformed my odor from the normal oatmeal formula mixed with outside dog to a foul Columbian smell. Neither of us were pleased for awhile. 
Theodore Bear has adjusted just fine to being my receptionist. He hasn't answered any phone calls or made any appointments due to the nonexistence of such things, but we do occasionally batter Grendel together and have upgraded from stereotypical weather small talk. Before I dip into Theodore anymore, I must touch on the weather outside of the city. 
In the passed week I have traveled down some stairs posing as an ambassador for my beloved city. On my journeys I have befriended the head honcho down south; She's a real brute. Full blood Corgi and

full of rage and passion. She knows the outside world better than I and served as my guide into the wilderness. The gates opened up and the ground was blinding! White as far as the eyes could painfully see; it reminded me of my time in Riga listening to some of the best choir the world has to offer. We began trekking aimlessly through the 'snow' as the maker noted an annoying amount of times. Initially the snow was refreshing, but I wouldn't chose such a surface if fleeing for my prints were quite noticeable. As if the maker needed any help bugging me on my time outside. He proceeded to snap pictures and I embraced it at first. Sure it was chilly outside, but I'm proud of the body I've been given. Then while in hot pursuit of Cadence my corgi that has often told me to stop referencing her as 'my' corgi: my back legs slowed to a stop. I tried to keep running, but they could no longer function. Oh, the agony! I screamed out, took the maker's name in vein, and plopped down to determine the extent of the damage that had been inflicted. I was certain that I was run over by a vehicle. My legs had no feeling in them. I accessed the status of my legs, while crying, but saw no mangled limbs like I had anticipated. Instead there was just a thick white slush caked on to my feet. Frostbite. Oh, that retched frostbite! I had so many plans for my homeland that would now have to come without the sound movement of two of my legs. Sure, FDR managed his country just fine in such a state, but he was one of a kind. The maker laughed at my pain as he approached me. I cursed his name while he picked me up. He had the power to prevent this and did nothing. I plotted my revenge on him as I trotted through the corgi's land. By the time that I had any momentum on a vengeful scheme Cadence pointed out that my legs were just fine. She went on to call me names, but I don't see why I would share such things.  

On to Theodore and his troubles. I will admit it. His charm had won me over and I had grown very fond of T-Bear very quickly. He became the only person I could trust almost overnight. So when he had a problem this week; I had a problem. There was this purple kangaroo that hopped her way by us in line for our morning red-eye at Tim Hortons; The maker released a second empty cup from the establishment so now both of us could pretend to drink some brew, joe, dirt, java, etc. She had a tight posture. One could tell that she was built to not be chewed up immediately. For me that was the end of it. The only animals I like are easy to unravel and possess a big squeeker. If she even had a squeeker it would take time to sound it so I focused my energy back on the newspaper in front of me. Theodore Bear pointed out that my newspaper was a used napkin. I ripped up that newspaper. Theodore was getting under my skin all day and eventually I took a run at him. Boys will be boys, will they not? I got a few good shots in on him before he confessed his love for the kangaroo who's name is escaping me. He spoke her name multiple times, but I only hear what I want to hear such as nice trimmed nails- an observation that no one made at the office. Evidently during one of my many spontaneous black outs Theodore gained the courage to ask that roo out without even asking me for advice on how to approach her. And she accepted. They were going to Pizza Al's. Pizza Al's used to be me and Theo's place. Strike two for the Roo was the headline in my mind's paper. Two strikes is as close to a strikeout as I had ever seen. I can never finish watching an at bat in baseball because I can't stay awake and focused long enough to see the outcome. The maker claims to have been able to stay up for some 54 outs of a ball game. I call shenanigans on that.
   So Theodore Bear went out with the kangaroo. After teaching him how to put a belt on so he would look presentable I headed down to

Pizza Al's to scope the place out before the big date. After ten minutes of loitering I was asked to buy something or get out. Loitering- what a ludicrous rule. A law saying that people can't chill outside certain establishments when at the same time people shovel out stacks of currency just to keep someone around. For a society that fears loneliness, loitering seems like a counterintuitive rule. I ordered a large pizza and just ate the crust because I'm not sure what the inside of a pizza tastes like and I wasn't feeling experimental on that day. Caesar probably didn't feel experimental on the ides of march, either. The pizza makers were not very happy with me as I provided no means or motivation to pay for my pizza. Their final demand was for me to work off the pizza. "I'll jog home. That should work it off" I scoffed. They re-explained the punishment and said that I was making pizzas and serving them for the rest of the night. Preposterous I thought at first. Then a light bulb went out over my head. After shrieking at such a spooky event I had an idea. An opportunity to eavesdrop on my lone co-worker. 

I anticipated anger from Theodore, but he seemed thrilled to see me. "Just the man I wanted to see. 
"We are out celebrating" He cheered while putting his arm around the roo. That struck me as an odd mannerism for a first date. I gave a disapproving expression. "Are you two getting married" I scoffed. "What" he laughed. "No, right before I left the office we got a call. Our first official case."  
"Greatscott" I said with the same hint of surprise another great Doc would have said such a phrase with. The roo seemed confused by what I said. 
"You haven't seen Back to the Future have you" I said with enough conviction to embarrass Theodore. She shook her head no.
"Strike three." 

 Veggies Time

Thursday night I went into the cold wintry night with Adam for a long 10 miles. Single digit, real feel sub zero weather is brutal to train in, but I know how close I am to Florida and I'd like to be in decent shape for once when I arrive down there. Whatever cold like symptoms I had earlier in the week seemed to have run it's course. Thursday morning was the last day that I felt any illness. Friday was another cold night run out in my balaclava and I cut my run short a few miles out of disinterest. I made it until Friday of my first truly wintry week of training this year. Baby steps.

Run to Read Half Marathon Review (Fairmont, WV)

    I was disappointed, but not surprised that whoever was in charge of allowing the rail trail to be snow plowed didn't come through. But like I told an old friend in the race at the beginning- Pricketts Fort is my home; for good or bad. Running in Fairmont made you very low maintenance as a runner. By that I mean you're accustomed to zero care for sidewalks/trails along with massive disapproval from the ordinary people. Going into the race I thought that I could go sub 6 minute pace. Definitely break 1:20, definitely not faster than 1:17. That's where I pegged my current fitness. And with the first significant race in my mind being in May, that's pretty decent for January. The snow slowed things a bit for sure, but I still wanted to put forth a good effort. And it is always easier to tough it out in a familiar territory. On my warm up I ran the last mile of the race and tried my best to think back to the summer of 2007. My first 5k, race, etc ever was out at the fort. It all started out there. I sure as hell hope it doesn't end out there.

Pretty grateful for the little tread that the Huaka provides at this point. How many tattoos can you spot?

    It's been a few years since I have had any sort of contact with Caleb Bowen, but it's hard to mistake is curly afro. I was pumped to see him there and he lit up the snow. Figuratively, had he literally lit up the course it would have been more enjoyable and easier on the hammys. Within the first two miles he went chasing the early lead, and two more fellas were out ahead of me. With a 5:32 first mile I hit the brakes quickly. I really wanted to just worry about staying sub 6 and did not want to dig myself an early grave. Plus, I was rocking the Huaka and the 4 in front of me had flats on so I figured I'd eat them up in the 8.5 snow covered miles. Sidenote- I hadn't planned on wearing those shoes until hearing the trail was covered in snow. The benefits of having all of your shoes scattered through your car. I came through four in a half around 27 minutes and then hit the snow. One person slid on back past me like I was hoping the rest would within a mile of snow running. I was really starting to dig in and feel comfortable with my pace. I could see 3rd and said to myself that I'd catch him by the turn around (right before 9mi).

Caleb winning and junk.

   9 miles in I found myself still stuck in 4th and gaining no ground on the top three. At this point I was convinced that I was moving closer to seven minute pace due to the inability to pick up any ground. Then, with the 10 mile mark in sight I heard a man yell 57:50. I didn't wear a watch because I wanted it to be just a strong effort. So then I did some elementary mathematics and realized that I was under six minute pace comfortably. The top three were just running faster than I expected at Run to Read. One would think hearing my pace would keep me going but I tanked the last 5k. Backed into a 1:19.30, 6.02 pace. Close enough to where I felt like had the majority of the race not been run in the snow I would've averaged under six minutes. Caleb won some seven minutes faster, which was quite impressive. On a satisfaction scale I'd say I was 8/10 happy with my run. Good checkpoint. After the race I got to see my brother, sister in law, and nephew which was really cool. Fun fact- I was born an uncle. And remain one to 5 people. Not a cool fun uncle, but one nonetheless.

Solely thinking about post race chili at this point.

That ended a 56 mile week of 5 days running. I took a second day off which is pretty annoying to log, but I just seemed to misplace the motivation Saturday. Too many freezing ass cold runs, all of my cold running gear needed cleaned and I didn't want to do laundry. I was cozy on my uncomfortable futon watching Weeds with Dr. Watson.

In my spare time I started watching Weeds on Netflix. It had been sleeping in my queue of shows to watch for years and I finally decided that I wanted to binge on a show again after recently finishing How I Met Your Mother; for the fourth time. I flew through the first five seasons of it already. It is quite entertaining and I would recommend it to anyone who isn't a total prude. It's a pretty funny and real show, but it seems to be dying down like most shows that have eight seasons. The twists and turns recently have just made me dislike the show and the main character, Nancy, more and more. Honestly at this point in the show I want her to die and I don't feel bad about saying that. She has made a surplus of stupid decisions and for a show that has been pretty good about realistic consequences, she has lived freely through too many bad decisions. Also, if Celia never dies I may not be able to recommend this show to anyone. Because I wouldn't want anyone to have to listen to her for as long as I already have. The kids are pretty good in the show. Shane and Silas are both kind of whiney, but they've done some things that make me like them. In the fifth season Shane has turned into my favorite of the two because he turns into such a little BA. When the fifth season ended I commented out loud how cool he was. Andy is easily my favorite character throughout the show. His character starts awesome and never slows, same can be said about Doug. Andy and Doug make the show for me.

There are a few shows that I'd like to start after the conclusion of Weeds, but there's also a little bit of reading I want to do. 3 books in 3 days, 15 seasons worth of shows in a few weeks. I binge one way or the other. I think it's better than spending 95% of my spare time watching commercials and listening to retired athletes and journalists give their opinion on previous sporting events that can't be changed or talking nonsense about a sporting event that doesn't deserve a week of chatter about. Basically I think ESPN, Sportscenter, etc are all jokes. Anyone who enjoys sports should agree. It's all drama no sports. I think Sportscenter should be a show on TLC. And Champ Kind should be the only sports caster. WHAMMY!

On Tap Next Week:

• Pittsburgh Penguins v. Minnesota Wild game tonight in Pittsburgh with roomies. 
• Potentially a Sunday Funday travel. 
• Drumroll...
• Watson music video!
• More of the same shabang.

I'm going to try my best to stay consistent with my entries and I am grateful that the views didn't seem to go down much at all after my several month disappearance. If you want to see more pictures of Watson or get more live updates I'm on instagram (acidicballsweat) and twitter (mintburrycrunch) from time to time. Thanks!

ONE LOVE!