#4 Midweek Marathon

Cooper's Rock
26.25 mi 3:33

First marathon keeping a battery, barely.

 It was one of those mornings where my bed was almost too comfortable to leave. Every time I get out of bed I am instantly less comfortable. Knowing this, I drug my feet for quite awhile this morning until I got bored and started my day. I was planning on doing a three hour run out at Cooper's, but I was bored and went until I hit a marathon. A couple weeks ago I ran almost the same course and finished under 3:29 (rough estimation, watch died on me 24mi in.) The effort on that day was much higher than today because I treated it as a make up race for Pilot Mountain Marathon that was originally planned for that weekend. I figured since I had the intention of racing a marathon that weekend that I would go ahead and do it anyways. The intention wasn't there to run 26 today. The boredom was there. It wasn't even a good run, really. 13 degrees and "real feel" of a single degree I had to deal with more wind then I'd like to at that temperature. I stopped at sixteen miles to change everything that was frozen sweat: hat, shirt, jacket, socks, shoes. Shortly after I finished my fuel that I had brought with me. My fuel was awesome! Hershey chocolate bar. I nibbled on it throughout the run. My stomach had zero reaction to eating it and that's exciting. In June when I am running for a day I hope to know that I can munch on some kisses and feel fine. The only reason today was close to as fast as my last marathon at Cooper's is the fact that there wasn't inches of snow and ice covering every inch of the roads. If the roads were clear a couple weeks ago I think I could have knocked fifteen minutes off easily.

Soon after finishing I headed to Outback to devour this bloomin onion, teryaki tenderloins, stuffed
sweet potato, two loaves of bread, and a chocolate milkshake. And just like that I went from a starving child to the little bloated brat from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Classic rags to riches story. I don't think I have ever been hungry when I order milkshakes. I'm always beyond full already, but it's a milkshake. They are meant to be slurped when you are on the brink of bursting.



I read Mr. Mulley's comment which took both the gnarliest fall and the grossest titles. After reading the first scenario several times, I can't imagine it playing any way other than this:

 About 10 minutes before the gun at cross country regionals at JM in 2008 I had to go to the bathroom really bad and but didnt want to wait in the long line. I decided to run down the steep hill across the street and flew head over heels into where (I'm pretty sure) they dumped the porta johns/a ruptured septic tank or something. I was so pissed I punched the ground next to me and it flew into my mouth. I had to where a girl's uniform and bathed in hand sanitizer and clorox wipes before I started the race.

Another memorable fall happend in 2011ish. I went for a normal 10 miler with my teammates at Jesuit and tripped on the sidewalk and had to get 11 stitches in my hip. I've never seen that much blood in my life.

I have seen David Collins attempt to dance several times; every time ends with him falling so that story does not surprise me nor would it surprise anyone who has been lucky enough to meet him.

I, being easily surprised, turn in a manner similar to Michael Jackson. Only problem is when I rotated and tried to go in the opposite direction the momentum of my speed and the loose dirt beneath my feet cause me to slip and hit both knees on the ground.

And GSC Runner had the fall that I would choose last out of every fall that was taken. I would welcome a dozen stitched in my hip before ever choosing to have frosty shorts. Nothing is worse than that. 

The distance to my house was not a ridiculous distance by distance running standards but when every step is a frozen reminder you may lose a key part of your male anatomy you begin to wonder why you ran so far. 

Luckily all of the falls above were not too embarrassing because at the end of the day, only a handful of people at most actually saw us tumble to the ground. With so many cameras around campus, I can only conclude that Annabel Lee's tumble was a cry for attention. If it was accidental I feel like a scorpion would have occurred rather than a somersault. Perhaps you have more grace than the rest of us, but that is a stretch.

My natural grace took me straight into a front roll, I popped back up and started running again- hoping nobody had seen my impromptu somersault in the front lawn.
A few hours later I got called to the office, where a crowd of students, teachers, and office workers were around the television reviewing footage from one of the school's 150 security cameras. They all burst out in laughter upon me interring the room. Apparently someone had caught me on "candid camera"- after I thought I got away with it with nothing more than a bruised ego.

Today I also turned over my 69,000th mile in Tank (my car). We have ventured to 35 states together over the past three years. I have slept in the Tank Inn six times while on the road. I have an unhealthy relationship with him.

I tried to digest my meal by napping and four hours later I woke from my bloomin' coma. I plan on spending rest of the night watching some hockey, complaining about my fantasy players, and listening to Passenger. This song played on my ipod probably a dozen times by request on my run today. 

Tomorrow: 

• Another blog
• Attempt to run
• Eat Ice Cream
• Summary of my first trail marathon (8/01/13 Wyoming)