#20 Here Comes Peter Cotton Tail

#20- Here Comes Peter Cotton Tail (no relation to the easter bunny)

I got lost up here. Standing to close to the edge.

From time to time I transition from starting my weeks on Sunday to Monday. My reasoning is the simplest: convenience. For instance- Saturday April 12th I ran in the Pilot Mountain Payback marathon. If you haven't heard about that- do yourself a favor and click that entry on the right. Since I ran the marathon on a Saturday, I took Sunday off in an attempt to regain my ability to walk properly. I knew that was ambitious since I haven't walked properly in years. But who cares about walking. I hear that it is the devil's mode of transportation anyways. (I say that all the time.) My point here is- weeks start on Monday now. This will be the way it is until I feel Sunday is once again convenient. Here is the very end of my marathon. As the announcer once said during the New Balance Indoor National high school championship racewalk mile, and with what I assume the same level of seriousness- here he comes storming to the finish line!

Monday
Quebec Run Trails 16 miles (Supposed to be 10 miles...)

My legs definitely had the 'ran a marathon 2 days ago' feel in them throughout the entire run. On top of that, I hadn't slept the night prior. That isn't bothersome to me though. The night of the marathon I may have slept two hours. And honestly I rarely sleep. I think that is why I recover so well.. Granted, during normal sleeping hours  you will find me in the same place that everyone else is. It's not like I am not resting, but I have seen the sun set and rise without budging countless times. Here comes another epiphany! I must have been in fourth or fifth grade the first time I stayed up all night. Prior to this I would play video games through two or three in the am, but then I crashed. On this night I didn't sleep or play any games. I laid in bed, got up and paced, and most importantly- wrote. Ironically I had an assignment due in school, but wrote about other things. Thankfully I don't have someone telling me to write this blog. That's the safest way to make sure that it never gets written. Something about people telling me to write/do things just really makes me not want to. So unappealing. Anyways, I am having an epiphany because today after the run I grabbed a cup of coffee and passed out. When I woke up three hours later I felt terrible and normal. The first night I stayed up all night was the first time that I wrote down anything, first cup of coffee, and first time that I crashed after the coffee. Habits have to have origins I suppose. ** If you ever see me anywhere, typically Terra Cafe, between the hours of before noon and I am not in running clothes- I haven't slept the previous night. So talk slowly.

I can often be found in this pose. Less attractive though. Ever notice how girls are at their peak appeal when they're asleep?

Back to Quebec. Some people pronounce it kabeck. But some people are stupid and sound stupid when they open their mouth. Maybe it's because I have never run rocky trails so soon after a marathon or perhaps it was the lack of sleep, but I did not enjoy a single step of that solo journey through the woods. Running through little creeks and stepping on rocks is far less appealing after doing it for 26 miles recently. I think it'd be like eating a whole lot of anything but ice cream or pizza, and then being offered that the next day. Even though I think ice cream and pizza are the only fuels to my life, even sometimes I can eat enough to where I just don't want to see either for a few days. Another analogy in case you are one of those people that have never eaten more than a pidgeotto, it'd be like hanging out with someone for a few days nonstop and then going home for some peace only to see you have a text from that person wanting to 'do that again real soon'. Just like the food analogy, there are some clear exclusions. There are some people that I could probably be stuck in a room with forever and not kill myself. I can count those people with my thumbs. Anyways, roughly a ten mile loop was the plan, but leave it to me to take a miserable situation and reorganize it a bit to make it worse. If you find yourself ever in a situation where you take a step back and start to seriously wonder if you have subconsciously been trying to see just how bad you can make a situation: you've added the Digem touch. I used to add the Digem touch to every assignment in whatever course tried to teach me to cook. Just add anything that sounds terrible and see what ya end up with. I turned my garmin watch off at 13 miles, because if I listened to that damn thing beep one more time past the agreed upon distance- it was going into the woods. I found myself at the ass (south) end of Quebec rd. Turns out that is home to a fully functional Hooverville. If you don't catch that reference, America's God, read a us history book. I pulled out a map, thankfully they had one. As I am typing this I realize just how turrrrible that day could have spiraled if there was no map. I found myself at the furthest place from where I had started the adventure. All I had to do was stay on Quebec road for 3 miles and I was back at tank. I would say that was luck, but I don't believe in luck after several unlucky turns. No such thing in luck to get you out of an unlucky situation. They just cancel out and you have ordinary. Anyways, run completed and I can't wait to return with some company. After a run so lame it's hard to not look forward to the next time I go there. There is a massive chance that my next run in those trails is going to be significantly more enjoyable.

Tuesday
Morgantown 10 miles

It was more miserable than it looks.

Could you imagine if every day this week was as long as Monday? That would suck.  I don't have any strong evidence that I the sun burnt me yet again this past weekend in North Carolina. You'll just have to take my word. But on Tuesday I got the frosty d again and I do have evidence. Only in this hellhole can I fall asleep, fully exposed with the window open, and wake up in my full pj's with my electric blanket on hot. Window then closed, of course. Who goes from 80 to 30s in 30 hours? Could you imagine if that continued at such a rate for another few days?

If the temperature dropped 50 degrees in 30 hours, 80 to 30, how long until the temperature dips below Zero?

Feel free to answer that, or listen to one of the million underrated tracks by marshall. The correct answer is who cares because answers to stupid questions like that are only relative to this blog, similar blogs, and every single high school in America that teaches you to hold the slowest kids hand for 8 hours a day. No Child Left Behind- No Child Allowed Ahead. On this beautifully snowy late April day I was accompanied by mr. hunter once again. The miles worsened, plateaued, got better, then sucked. That happens when it is cold out. The beginning is terrible especially when it shouldn't be cold out. Normal people probably store their winter clothes away when the weather breaks, but I have a different philosophy that led to me running in shorts through the snow. When the weather breaks I think- don't have to wash my running pants until next winter. Running pants are pricey, and laundry is trivial. I will wear the same pants on four-five solid runs and continue to wear them until the smell makes me self conscious. Which takes longer than you'd think. Also, washing dirty pants before going out through the woods for an hour or so is like making a bed before sleeping. Which is the case every time you make a bed. Anyways, I think that we made it all through town without anyone yelling slurs about our sexual orientation which I couldn't be further from actually being. But as Seinfeld would say- Not that there's anything wrong with that! That's probably why I have never been really upset about anyone calling me gay while on a run, though it does get annoying to hear it all of the time; big reason why I don't run through streets. But honestly that has the same effect on me as being called a fish, impressively tall, or a man who doesn't enjoy the occasional Nicholas Sparks books; all of those statements would be wrong as well so it's whatever. I actually wish that people would get personal. That'd be awesome. Here are my two favorite comments ever- yes, only two because the world doesn't contain many people that amuse me.

2.- Running through Fairmont in high school, every single day, beside Patrick in equally short shorts for years means we heard all of the same stuff. It was always F this F that by people driving by, F standing for the slur that every male runner hears all the time, but is still tasteless. But this overweight, tank top wearin, teen age baby poppin, typical Fairmont hoe yelled out of her busted up van- 'Faggots, why don't you two go fuck eachother.' I don't know if I have ever laughed so hard for so long on a run. I believe my initial response was turning toward Patrick and saying something along the lines of- well... I mean let's not rule anything out. That was followed by many comments such as- it's what the people want, if you think about it..., she may be on to something, etc. God we had so much fun with that. If someone would just yell absurdities before every run that would make conversations more spontaneous and fun.

1. Naturally my favorite comment came from what I assume was a student as I was running through Princeton's campus. As I was running through princeton, a car rolls up beside me. We are on a long steady climb so they are really trying to go slowly. The back window rolls down and out of the corner of my eye I see a guy fold his arms and put his chin down. I never directly looked at them. This was his dialogue to me, will never forget it. "Hey there. Hey. Lift up your shorts a little, I can only see some of your balls. C'mon baby, don't be a tease." I broke from trying to warm up for a track race to absolutely losing my shit. I laughed so hard, but still never even looked at him. He laughed at me laughing and the day went on. If I was a broad that'd be considered harassment. There's your dose of sexism for the day.

Wednesday
Rail Trail 60 minutes

This run with Josh was a typical run through the arb for us. Just laughing and shooting shit; wouldn't trade it for all the ice cream in the world. No one needs that much ice cream anyways, you'll get a tummy ache. Two events that were funny on this run happened in the lower arb as we ran through the woods. Now in the past Josh has like thermal vision and can spot a snake from a mile away. While running behind him, he yelled and jumped to the side. I immediately jumped as high as I could and picked my knees up. That gave me ample time to examine the ground below me for snakes. Turns out it was a woodpecker who was camouflaged into the branch beside us and made a run at us. I knew I was genuinely terrified because I just shut up. Whenever something startles me I scream. Whenever I think my time on this Earth is over, via snake attack, I shut up. The second event was hilarious, to me. If you've ever had a kid napped then you may not find as much humor in it. We run by a family that says hello to Josh because everyone in town knows him. Typically I murmur 'and his best friend digem' when people address Josh. That's okay I don't like having friends anyways. With friends come expectations. Their little boy ran off on the single track trail ahead of us, Ty I think was his name. 90% chance that I am not remembering the name. Anyways, he's trying to out run us and we are completely out of sight of his family before we reel him in and I said- scoop n score. For idiots, I was insinuating we steal the kid, but it was obviously a funny. After we passed him me and Josh expressed our lack of comfort with the scene that had occurred. Two beards running through the woods behind a tike that kept looking back at us and running away... Not a good look. I was examining the woods to my side for an escape route if Chris Hansen came by throwing out accusations. Thanks to all of these assholes in the world I am terrified to even look at an elementary school. Which sucks because that age is my favorite. Once you learn how to talk, but don't understand how to filter what you say is literally the golden years for conversing. Then you suck until you are old and say funny stuff again.

Thursday
Cooper's Rock 8 miles, give or take some amount of distance.

This is me every time Minnesota fucks up this time of year.

I believe this is the least eventful run of the week. Just two guys playing through the woods for an hour or so. We returned to Rattlesnake trail in Cooper's and ran it backwards. That wasn't too smart. I will use this day to talk about Minnesota Wild. Game One of these playoffs has now become the most devastating game of my life as a fan. To be up 2 goals late in the 3rd and blow it is absolutely disgusting. I don't want to go into details with my opinions on the game because I honestly have nothing but ill will toward literally anyone who tries to talk to me about hockey. I get like that when I get cut. After that game I just remained in the seat that I watched the entire game in. Turned the tv off and just stared at the screen for over an hour. Had nothing else going on. I am typing this portion today (sunday) because it took me this long to even want to report that, but I felt like I had to because it was a highlight of my week. Not a great highlight. It was one of those defeats that lead to a sweep, and sure enough those ...players in Colorado won again Saturday. I watched and will watch every last minute of my favorite people getting their ass kicked again. Because I am loyal to the organization. Loyalty is the most forgotten trait in society. So if you see on tv that Minnesota Wild are playing- yes I am watching and no I don't want to talk about it or anything in the hockey world. Especially penguins since that's all I hear every day. As far as I'm concerned I hope they get bounced in the first round too. Why? Because Columbus is good, but around here everyone sucks except Pittsburgh. So to them I have the same amount of ill will as I do for every other team right now. I've grown into the least sympathetic fan that I know. And I am proud of that.

Friday
Deckers Creek Trail 6 miles
 

Radabra yawning for attention. Standard.

Today served as my day off. This is the first week in awhile that I have run 7 days, but my legs were still pretty shot and I had ambitions for sunday's long run. I ran with Radabaugh- my favorite high school runner. We set off down the rail trail and 2 miles in he pointed out this dirt trail that ran off to the right of the trail. This damn trail had to be close to 90 degrees straight up. I mean we crawled to the top and I got pissed that I didn't have my phone to show you all the cliff we were standing on. Also I wanted to get evidence of the annihilation of a deer up there. We found its skull, most of its spine, and half of its ribs. Oh, and one hip. I was very interested in what had destroyed that poor little bastard. Anyways we ran around there and had a jolly ole time. I like running with Radabra. That's his pokemon name.  I pronounce that- (Raaa- Duh - Bruh). The first time I ever met Radabra was his freshman year, 3 years ago, and the idiot face planted on the paved rail trail. That's when I believed in love at first sight. Little s.o.b has had me laughing ever since. I don't follow the running scene in state anymore so in my mind he's the best at every event because rest of the competition consist of tools that actually don't exist in this world, the world of red bull. People only exist if you believe in them. In my world- overpopulation doesn't exist. There's only a few dozen people- rest are ghosts. I would say they are robots, but I like robots.

Saturday
The Friendly City- 10 miles

I took to the beautifully awful Fairmont roads for my run on saturday. I figured it was the perfect pregame to watch the Wild lose again. I actually enjoyed the run. Running in Fairmont anymore is very hit or miss, but some days I enjoy myself. I also binged on Friday Night Lights on this day. Finished the first season, boom. 

Sunday
PA Gamelands- 15.5 miles

I was satisfied with my run even though I didn't complete as much as I wished. It was ambitious to expect to run a hard long trail run 8 days after a pretty tough marathon. Wolfpack beat up on me again, standard.

Friday Night Lights at its best.

To the person that recommended Friday Night Lights to me- thank you. This week I was glued to my television! I finished the first season. If it is like similar shows- all down hill from here. I plan on watching the rest of it though. There is nothing like small town sports and it is brilliantly written. They have a great way of pulling you into every character's life. I found myself rooting for everyone at some point excluding Voodoo. Who doesn't love to watch a show about high school drama and life? I would never want to go back to that scene, but there is nothing like it. I am assuming Coach Taylor returns for another season; I am looking forward to seeing what happens next. I can't tell who my favorite character is. Most episodes it's Timmy Riggins. I love that guy. I doubt anyone dislikes QB1. I don't really care for Lyla or however you spell her name. She just has really annoying traits. Smash grew on me and I think that was the intention; start off disliking him but rooting for him in the end. I can't talk in too much detail on my feelings without name dropping people, but it's definitely a show that has something for everyone. Hands down one of the best shows that I have seen in awhile. I mean I watched 22 episodes each 45 minutes in three sittings.

If I watched 22 episodes, each 45 minutes in duration- how much time did I spend watching Friday Night Lights this week? 
A) Too much time

Next Race- Saturday Iron Furnace 20k (Ohio.)
 
One Love!