#9- Attempted Assassination on Digem

Week 2/16 for Mohican 100 miler

Tuesday 3/4
8 miles

The streets of Fairmont unwillingly hosted my run yesterday, but that feels normal after years of running through Fairmont. Speaking of Fairmont ' the friendly city ' I have another story that shows exactly how friendly that town is. Technically my home town, but I hate it and it hates me so it's awkward. Last night (TUESDAY) I caught up with Patrick since he is in for spring break. We went over to Chauncy's, doubt I spelled that correctly, and watched a few basketball games and had a drink or two. Whenever we left to drive the mile and a half to his house I said "that guy just got pulled over" because I saw the lights behind us two cars as we pulled out of Chauncys. Two turns later we are a block from our destination and the same lights flash behind me. I pull over and another story with enforcement begins... License and registration is handed over and before I know it the cop is in my back seat searching all over Tank. Which is comical because my back seats/boot is a mountain of just the most random stuff. I saw the flashlight go over toilet paper, running shorts, backpacks, a dozen shoes, blankets (one of which he lifted to find more blankets), pillows, etc. I told him he could take everything out if he'd liked, but he wasn't really listening to me. Out of the car- my next order. Thankfully I didn't get slapped with the backwards ABCs gag because I can't accomplish that in any state. Z...X, T, P I don't know who the hell reads backwards, this isn't Japan. I got to balance on one leg and count to 30, walk ten steps turn, and walk back, (I felt like a supermodel. Dream- achieved.) Then the good ol breathalyzer. Before taking a swig, I asked why he pulled me over and he responded "Look at your car." At first I was thinking damn, I know it's dirty but c'mon. Burnt out headline, of course! Everyone knows that with a burnt out headlight that you get all but an anal cavity search. Of course I blow well under the legal limit because I was completely okay (.079) and he starts talking to his large sidekick who made me laugh because he wore his cap in the strangest way. I hear them say 'well there was no quick jerks and used his turn signals' then it hit me... I was being assassinated. They come back and demanded to follow me to Patrick's. I'm assuming they let me drive because I was driving perfect beforehand. They follow us to his house and leave. I was in shock at the fact that they treated me like I threw a beer bottle out of my window at them after offering them a puff. They both seemed noticeably disappointed that I was completely clean. I assume they were in relation to the county Athletic Director FRANK MOORE. He doesn't like me. This one time I attempted to amp up a dull circle of runners and he tried to suspend me from the cross country team and four years later when I applied for the West Fairmont Middle School track job they didn't give it to me due to that event four years earlier. Being the only applicant, there was no track team last spring. Hilarious. He's had it out for me forever which is funny. Fairmont has been like Drago to me over the years, just swinging their hardest and causing minimal damage. Who knows one day I may raise my dukes back. Let's hope not, because we all know Drago's fate in Rocky 4. Anyways, at this point in the night I could have used a drink. So, my pops being the man came across town and picked me up and we went and got a drink at the Derby before heading back to his place to kick it for the night. 

    Today I only managed 10 miles through Fairmont, but the weather is getting better so I should be able to climb back to 80 with some normalcy in my days returning. Back to doubles. Next week will be a huge week. I don't want to spoil too much but from Sunday-Saturday I will run more than I ever have before; starting off with an awesome group run in PA. Another crappy blog, in my opinion but I will step up the entertainment value in the coming days as well. I have a few really cool ideas to share with the world through here. Absolutely stoked that each blog is averaging 120 views already. Keep sharing it with everyone and I will do my best to keep providing laughs in the future.

One Love!